Boy 2 and Boy 3 converse:

Boy 3: Dude, why didn't you warm me?

Boy 2: It wasn't my place.

Boy 3: Yes it was!

Boy 2: Well, I didn't know.

Boy 3: MISTAKE! She was crazy.



Good black Friday.
Hahahahahahahahahha

"You and I are like oil and water"

I just don't know what to even right about anymore. I can't explain my emotions very well anymore. But I can try I suppose..

I tried sticking with the nice guy thing. Doesn't work. Tried the douchebag thing. Also, doesn't work. So ya know what that means? Its just me. So I guess if I don't care anymore it won't matter? But.. I don't wanna have to be the Lonely Badger again..

I like just being Badger. But soon enough, I see the change. Coming for me.

I just want to ask.. Do you know what it feels like to know that you'll never have someone even how much it should happen?

Yeah think about that..

Peace.

"My word is my pride, but wisdom is bleak and thats a word from the wise"

Alright. So lately, I've been feeling pathetic. I thought a trip to Florida would keep me happy. I was right..

While I was down there, I realized a lot of things. Things that it took being away from my family and friends to see. I realize I've been living, without actually living. So I will be going to church with the Swan boys. I realized that there's more to life than I always thought.

I need to build up relationships that I have lost. I need to re-connect with my sister Danielle. Even if she did act ridiculous.

Also, as for girls. What is the point. If I need a girl, God will give me one. Or at least he will give me the power to know if I should pursue the right one.

That's about all the good news.. Now of course there are always two sides to every story. So lets begin with the bad stuff.

I came home. I went in to my room, to find a bunch of my things gone. Some we're returned. I had a whole huge thing of change that I kept.. It's gone. All of it. My brother stayed in my room when I was gone. I also came home to find out that he lost his job.

It is really amazing what drugs can do to a person. So anyone reading this.. Please pray for James. For his sake, mostly. But also for my mother. She's just been so upset. She can't even be happy anymore because of everything that has happened in the past six months or so.

I feel horrible for her. Shit man, she works so hard. For what? A 30 year old who is jobless at home? Yep. That's what she gets. Not fair huh?

I always said that I needed to get out of the house, but I don't. I need to stay here. My life is here. Well at least until Jeff-co is over. Then I'll move. But that is all I have to say for now.

Oh yeah, I love all my friends. You know who you are. End of story.

Love, Badger.

My idol.

This is why I love Jake Parham. Confident enough to do this in front of thousands of people..

Georgia! And the crazy low urinals.. I think we know why that is.

"You've given me the strength to carry on, when all my hope is gone."

ok man. i definitely agree with what your sayin in your blog. It seems like nice guys finish last. and what Kourtney said as a comment in your blog. "Truthfully, how many people in highschool actually know and love themselves for who they are? a very select few." that isnt entirely true. i know lots of people who love themselves for who they are. and you seem or atleast seemed like you were one of them. and girls, they never know what they want, that doesn't just magically fix itself after high school. it will be a while before you, or myself find the girl that truly stands apart from all the other girls out there, before we find a girl who understands us, and loves us for who we are. lets just face it. not every guy is blessed with, charm, good looks, money, nice things, nice car, or even brains for that matter. all you can do is be who you are, and not try to be anyone else. theres no reason for you to be out there searching for some fabricated complacency that you think you need. you have it already. you are an awesome person. as a fellow nice guy i understand the struggles your going through..the lack of confidence, and the lack of motivation, and then the lack of caring after that happens. and your right, girls will realize what they had as you say the good/nice guy. they will realize that the guy opening doors for them, cooking just because, listening to them, being the shoulder for them to cry on, being the nice guy. they will come to realize that they took advantage, and that they didn't give you the time of day, because they didn't realize what they had, and how badly they want a nice guy at that point, because their tired of being treated like shit by some guy who cheated on them. and then it will be too late, because you will have found someone who realized it first, or either because you changed into the guy you didnt want to be. and dont let that happen john. your an awesome person. i know what your goin throug, and ive dealt with the situation first hand, so thats why i am probably so partial to that blog entry. it really made me think about everything, and man your just straight up right in this. some day you will find a girl, or she will find you, but it will happen. and you will live a life of pure bliss. but the journey of life that we are meant to embark on was never meant to be easy. it will haves its highs and lows, and at times it will definitely seem like there are more lows, but you just have to keep your head up and keep pushin along man. no girl that treats you like crap is worth your time, and until they realize that your a good person, dont give em the time of day, because they dont deserve it. but if a girls nice to you and respects you then sure man be her friend, there are a lot more of those girls out there than you think. and there are far less nice guys out there than we would like to think. its up to nice guys like us to show people that its worth it. in the end. its all worth it. and i have the utmost confidence in this. just keep on keepin on.


-fellow nice/good guy Kip [comebackkid] Lionberger

GaGa who?

Haha. This be Nikki. She makes me laugh.

Reverting back to me.. Part 1

I used to think I was a man. I'm not. Far from it. Truth is, they don't exist at my age. I should know that. I'm still just a boy. Who doesn't know what he wants. I might not even be a good person anymore. Since I changed my appearance, my whole person changed. I don't exactly know why. I need to forget about my problems. By that, I mean girls. I don't need to be with anyone until I figure out some more of me. I'm going to try and become a better person. It won't be easy. I just need to find out why I do the things I do. I guess when it all comes down to it.. I'm a mess. A boy, who is a mess.

Some gay men at Cowtippers! A place Elsa ate at tonight!

Finally. The void has been filled.

So, I've had a sister for about 17 years now. Her name is Danielle. She stabbed me in the back a long time ago, and I was hurt. I always enjoyed being with her when I could. Unfortunately she fucked that up. But, guess what.. In eighth grade I met what would become, my future sissy. :) Her name is Kaitlyn Mackey. We became close this past year, and I'm so glad. She is there to listen to me when I want to rant about my girl problems for days. She's the person I call and talk to for hours on the phone at night. She's the one who I always ask for a good hug. Finally I have a sister again. She may be shorter than me, but she'll always be my big sister. Here she is. :)

Hahaha!

AWWE!

Baby Badgers. :)

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New shirt. Like?

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Jake and I. It's what we do when schools almost out.

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Yeah..

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Ridiculous vest i found while cleaning my closet.

"Songs About Girls"

So that is the current album I am listening to right now. Its by Will.I.Am. He's pretty awesome. So I've decided thats what I am going to write about today. Girls.

A few words about them. Like men, they just are fuckin crazy! But lately I haven't cared as much as I have in the past. Why do I need some bitch in my life when I can make myself happy by doing other things?

Yeah there are girls that I would date, but those girls are too fucked up anyways. When they change their idea of what they want. Guys like me, we'll be either gone or unavailable. Then who's sad huh?

Come to think about it, I always write about girls.. Maybe I should change this blog just to be about girls? Haha no, that would be boring.

Girls can ruin things. They can fix things. But so far, they've only ruined things. And smashed my confidence. But guess what? It's slowly building. I've changed a shit ton in the past like month and a half. Not neccessarily my personality but appearance.

Oh shit, the best song on the album came on. I got it from my mama. Haha.

But now, I'm not feelin this song. Im gonna change it to some Motion City Soundtrack. Thats an amazing band. They make me feel great and the lead singer has the coolest hair ever!

Anyways, back to this rant about women.

Ya know what universe, I wanna make a deal.

I'll be a better person if ya throw me a nice girl. Someone to help me, or at least understand me. That would be the shit. Preferably a red head with tattoos and piercings? :) Haha

Until then, I'll be here. Just chillen.

Love, The Lonely Badger

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Wasted City Museum trip! But oh well. Taken from inside my car. Thanks Greg.

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"Beautiful Gorgeous"

My friend Holland, Holly as I call her. Her new hair. Pretty huh?

Yes!

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My Friday night with Aj and Bean!

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I looked good yesterday! Stylin'!

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Somebody got crustay!!

"This pain you never know"

So.. Rant part 2

Here's my situation. I really want to be happy with myself, and other people. What I think would make me happy is a girl to just love honestly. I know who I'm interested in and everything. I know girls that are into me but they never are the ones that I feel the same way for. It really blows. I'm tired of sitting on my ass because of a lack of confidence...


I want to be more confident in myself but isn't that hard to do when a girl you like finds out that you are interested in her.. Then thinks you are mad at her and now won't talk to you, or return texts.. That shit hurts.

Makes me wanna give up even more.

Then on the other hand, the girl that I kept chasing for months and months.. I was so interested. Now I'm not so much. But she is, it seems. Well she had her chance. She fucked that one up.

All in all, I wanna be a happy person and I want people to respect me for who I am. I'm truely not happy and I just really wonder.. Is the juice worth the squeeze? Because it seems like it never is.

I quit.

I'll let women come to me.

Then maybe things will work.

Love, The Lonely Badger

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Me and AJ!

"I search but never find."

To start off.. This is going to be the longest post yet. It is a rant. I'll begin with someting my dear friend Brett sent me yesterday.

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy


Now wasn't that the fucking truth? Yes it was. This is beautifully written.

So anyways... life has been pretty shitty lately and excuse me for my language, but I have the need to use profanity at the moment. At this moment I've been emotional and upset because all the seniors are gone now and of course girl problems. But lets begin with the seniors, I got to film the senior goodbye circle today and when I got home it kind of brought me to tears. I will truely miss more of them than I thought. I know how it works... Everyone says they will keep in touch, but it never happens. I wish it did. Hopefully Mr. Dylan Schnitker and Miss Nikki Wetstein won't forget me. There are so many others that I will never forget and who I hope I have in my life. Brad Shocklee is one of them, I know he actually reads my blog. Which brings a smile to my face when he could tell me what I had posted the night before. I'll miss the shit out of him. :( As well as many others seniors. I have ties to them, but I wish I could have been closer to each of them.

On to my next order of business, I was sitting here having dinner in my room listening to an old Will.I.Am. cd when I thought that I would text Shell. Apparently, she isn't having a great night either. We talked for a bit and she sent me this....

She's tryna just breathe, yeah tryna catch a breath/ but she wasn't quick enough and saw the flash of death/ now she's floating way up to the top/ while her body just landed with a drop/ it hit the floor with silence and then the screams/ her mom walks in and starts prayin its just a dream/ reality hits and everyones awoken/ everyones taken back an no words are spoken/ how could she really take that last step/ wish someone could of helped/ maybe just listened, to everything she had to/ she was goin through hell/ and she was burnin, burnin up inside/ tired of feelin alive/- Rachell Garrett

This brought me to tears. I love Shell and I'm glad we met. She makes me laugh and she gives the best back scratches. But Shell if you do read this... Know that I'll always listen to you, love. It would be my pleasure.

As I'm sitting here, upset and lonely, I realize that the things in life the make you wonder, What if? Those things hurt the most. Those things can make you rack your brain for days, make you cry, or cause you pain. I think about these things too much it seems. So that's why I'm not truely happy. I don't know exactly what would make me happy anymore. I used to think it would be a nice girl to listen to, to hold, and to just be with.. But now it seems that girls at this age just don't know what they want and the ones that do... Well they are taken by either really great guys or true assholes.

Maybe I'm not supposed to have a nice girl in my life? Maybe I'm meant to be like my brother and be single and just meet girls in bars. I don't want that. But as of now, I wanna give up my morals and just be a douchebag and completely be a player.

So ladies, or gentlemen... Please change my mind. Please.

Love, The Lonely Badger

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THIRTY!

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Dante Jon Athon

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I'm so proud! :)

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My friends. :) "Collin" aka AJ. And Artel. Sp?

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Brothers.. Yep.

We are going to be hot and have ripped abs (maybe) and we will have good jobs. And two awesome chicks. We will finish high school like champs.

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This lion no longer has his mane..

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Sandman lookin gorgeous! Lol We rule.

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My tux. :D

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Frankie being his awesome self! Out in the hallway making sexy poses! What a baller.

Lifes about greasin' the due back and wheezin' on the buffest.

So, I'm on the phone with Jake right now and he has been describing feelings that he has been having lately and it turns out that all his feelings that he mentioned, I have a blog post to match them. Isn't that kind of weird? I think it is. But its kinda cool to share the same feelings at the same time. It makes it that much easier to cope with. That's the advantage of having an awesome brother though. We're pretty in sync with each other. Aparrently...

Women

I have a strong exterior, I always walk tall.
There's only one thing in this world that can make all men fall.
It starts with a W and ends with an Omen.
That's a bit ridiculous, but its enough to keep us goin.
They keep us on our feet, they keep us dancin'
All of this? For just a little romancin'?
We think we know you, but this is not true.
You lie as much as the sky is blue.
Sometimes its crazy, sometimes its fun but maybe I'll realize I'm number one.
All we want is love, and all we need is a friend.
But when it comes down to it, who was the first one to sin?

Love,
The Lonely Badger

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90 years old and wearing a plaid flannel? Thats what I call a baller. This is my uncle Elmer.

Burning Bridges

I've burned some bridges, some weak, and some strong.
That's a hard thing to do when I've been at it for so long.
I want you to know that I gave it my all, but nobody was there to catch me when I started to fall.
If you can't say what you mean, then don't speak. Stop reciting those words that are frail and bleak.
If you say what you mean, then we don't have to disagree.
We end up in this place of no meaning.
That feeling of trust is a hard one to find, but being let down like this kills my mind.
So after I cut my losses I fell in a slump, I don't know where I am, but it feels like a dump.
I need to move on, I need to get out, but my mind says without you I won't survive this drought.
As I watch the rain I sart to see, that maybe you aren't that good for me.
Thoughts like that are rare, but its not like you care.
Maybe its a joke or maybe its a lie, I can't tell yet but I'll never ask why.
If life has a plan , then try and stay true.
I know I wanted it that way, but then I found you.
Love,
The Lonely Badger

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Aj is fabulous with the makeup and Naroy is sexay!!

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I love brain! Psychology club rules.

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I'm gay for Brad Shocklee! Haha

This made my day

Stop describing in detail how you are going to have sex with my father!-Kourtney (door opens) I just wanna say.. Eww..-Mrs. Hannah

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Mall trip! Jake with his banana and Brady and Jake's new stunna shades!

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A doggy Kelsey drew today!

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New specs..

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Gay madhatter and my friends! Yay!

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Brady Peters with my glasses on is very similar to Andy Dick in the movie employee of the month.

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Greg says, "Its my buddy." Refering to the punching bag.

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Jake turned our pre calc homework into stewie!

Dylan

You rock.. I hope those Haystacks are delicious. I love you. Sideways.. haha

Hmm.

Fuck my luck.. That is all. Maybe something good will happen if I do some good deads for people. Come on Karma.. Prove yourself.

This made me feel better..

I had a pretty bad day today and just when I thought it wasn't going to get any better. Someone said this.. If you didn't know. I was talking about the comment Travis Phillps left.

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Worst parking job ever. End of story.